Recovery & aftercare

Making amends in recovery: Steps 8 and 9 explained

Published December 22, 2025 · 7 min read · Updated April 2026

Reviewed for accuracy by licensed clinical professionals.

Making amends is one of the most transformative and feared parts of recovery. Steps 8 and 9 provide a structured framework for repairing the damage addiction caused.

Step 8: The list

Write a list of all persons harmed and become willing to make amends. This includes family, friends, employers, and yourself. Include harms of commission (what you did) and omission (what you failed to do).

Step 9: Making amends

Direct amends: face-to-face acknowledgment and specific commitment to changed behavior. Financial amends: repaying debts, however slowly. Living amends: when direct contact would cause more harm, demonstrating changed behavior over time. Self-amends: forgiving yourself and committing to your own recovery.

When NOT to make amends

Step 9 specifies except when to do so would injure them or others. Some people are better left without contact. Some amends would reveal information that would hurt others. Your sponsor helps you navigate these boundaries.

The impact

Amends is not about relieving your guilt (though it does). It is about freeing yourself from the weight of unresolved harm. Most people report that making amends is far less terrible than they feared and profoundly liberating.

Authoritative sources

This article references guidelines from: SAMHSA · NIDA · ASAM

Frequently asked questions

What does making amends mean?

Acknowledging specific harms caused during addiction and committing to changed behavior. It includes direct conversation, financial repayment, and living differently.

Do I have to apologize to everyone?

Step 9 says except when to do so would injure them or others. Some amends should not be made if they would cause additional harm.

What if the person will not accept my amends?

Their response is not your responsibility. You make the amends sincerely and accept their response. Focus on changed behavior going forward.

Disclaimer: Informational only. Not medical advice. SAMHSA: 1-800-662-4357.