Family support

Signs of alcohol abuse in your spouse or partner

Published October 1, 2024 · 7 min read · Updated April 2026

Reviewed for accuracy by licensed clinical professionals.

Living with someone makes you both the most likely to notice and the most likely to deny their drinking problem.

Behavioral signs

Drinking alone or in secret. Getting defensive about alcohol consumption. Personality changes when drinking. Hiding bottles or minimizing consumption. Drinking more than they used to. Prioritizing events with alcohol. Neglecting responsibilities.

Physical signs

Smelling alcohol at unexpected times. Weight changes. Sleep disruption. Frequent hangovers. Tremors in the morning.

What to do

Document specific observations. Choose a calm moment to express concern using I statements. Attend Al-Anon for yourself. Learn about CRAFT techniques (65-75% success rate for motivating treatment). Have treatment options researched.

Authoritative sources

This article references guidelines from: NIDA · SAMHSA · CDC

Frequently asked questions

How do I know if my spouse is an alcoholic?

Look for secretive drinking, defensiveness about alcohol, personality changes, escalating amounts, and neglected responsibilities.

Should I confront my spouse about drinking?

Express concern using I statements in a calm moment. Use CRAFT techniques rather than confrontation.

What if my spouse denies having a problem?

Denial is common. Continue using CRAFT techniques, attend Al-Anon, and maintain boundaries.

Disclaimer: Informational only. Not medical advice. SAMHSA: 1-800-662-4357.