Family support

How to help an alcoholic: A guide for families

Published November 1, 2025 · 8 min read · Updated April 2026

Reviewed for accuracy by licensed clinical professionals.

Helping someone with alcoholism is one of the hardest things a family member can do. Understanding what actually works versus what feels right but backfires is essential.

What works

Express specific concerns without accusations. Offer to help find treatment. Attend Al-Anon for yourself. Set boundaries and follow through. Use CRAFT techniques (65-75% success rate for getting loved ones into treatment). Have treatment options ready for when they are willing.

What does not work

Nagging, lecturing, or shaming. Pouring out their alcohol. Threatening consequences you will not enforce. Trying to control their drinking. Taking responsibility for their recovery. Waiting for rock bottom (the concept is a myth that kills people).

Protecting yourself

Your wellbeing matters as much as theirs. Attend Al-Anon. Seek individual therapy. Maintain your own social connections and activities. Set boundaries without guilt. You did not cause this.

When to seek professional help

If direct conversation has failed, consider professional intervention (CRAFT-based approaches have the highest success rates). If the person is in medical danger, contact their physician or call 911.

Authoritative sources

This article references guidelines from: NIDA · SAMHSA · CDC

Frequently asked questions

How do I get an alcoholic to stop drinking?

You cannot force someone to stop. Use CRAFT techniques to motivate treatment-seeking (65-75% success rate). Express concern, set boundaries, and have treatment options ready.

Should I give an ultimatum?

Ultimatums you do not enforce teach the person your words do not matter. Set boundaries you will actually maintain instead.

What if they refuse help?

Continue using CRAFT techniques. Maintain boundaries. Take care of yourself. Many people accept help after initial refusal, sometimes weeks or months later.

Disclaimer: Informational only. Not medical advice. SAMHSA: 1-800-662-4357.